Stone stocks plummet

The night garden has experienced the worst day of trading in living memory as stone stocks took a large hit today on the exchange. The Gazebo bought news of the crash to gardenites who could only watch in horror as the story unfolded. 'My hair stood on end,' said one witness, 'I just couldn't believe it'.

Not enough spending: experts
Experts believe sub-prime lending on houses, bushes and caves, has largely precipitated the crisis, but admitted that low consumer confidence and reduced spending has also contributed. Said one stock market insider, 'we just aren't seeing gardenites part with their cash for a new wardrobe for summer, or even a change of clothes. Some have dispensed with clothes altogether, perhaps for fiscal reasons'.


Superannuation at risk
The stone plummet comes as a blow to residents who invested in these stocks as part of their superannuation,  notably Makka Pakka, who reported that his retirement plans are now on hold. 'Unless there is a big recovery, I won't have enough,' he said regretfully. 'Stones have always seemed the safe bet, this has been a big shock'.

Makka Pakka with his now largely worthless stock portfolio