Mixed reactions to Gardenite reality tv series

Gardenites today got a glimpse at their lives through the lens of 'Reality TV' as they previewed several episodes of 'In the Night Garden', a television production which has recently completed filming in the garden. 'In the Night Garden' has followed the daily lives of several Gardenites, showcasing their 'upsys and downsies' in the words of the media release for the show.

However, following the Gazebo-hosted viewing, many gardenites expressed disappointment and anger at what they described as 'exaggerations, misrepresentations and selective editing' on the part of producers of the show. Upsy Daisy explained that she felt her love of flowers had been 'overplayed' and stated that she rarely chased her bed. 'It's not really me', she stated, 'I mean, I love my bed, but the show makes it look like I luuurve my bed, if you know what I mean'. Other residents disappointed by their on screen portrayal included Makka Pakka who argued that careful editing and 'faked situations' had made him look like 'a total nut job'. 'I wondered why producers insisted that I wash everyone's faces almost every time the camera was on me. Now I know. They needed an 'OCD' character for this so-called 'reality' show' he fumed, adding that he planned to seek legal advice, 'right after I go and wash my hands'. Tombliboo Oo confirmed the 'un-reality' of the filming process: 'let's just say the waist bands of our pants were somewhat loosened, for comedy effect'.

Other residents were more positive about the show and their portrayal. Mrs Pontipine expressed delight at seeing her family on television  'I never dreamed that I would be a tv star when I was fleeing Soviet Russia with only my hat, coat and binoculars', she stated. Haa Hoo X stated that, contrary to expectations, the camera had 'removed five pounds' with respect to the Haa Hoos.

 Media reviews of the show have also been largely enthusiastic. While some reviewers have expressed confusion about the premise, most agree that the characters are interesting enough to keep the show going. Upsy Daisy comes in for praise as a 'strong female lead' and has been compared favourably to Reality TV megastars such as Kim Kardashian and Snooky.

In the Night Garden will screen nightly on local television.

Read more...

Makka-Pakka-rena dance craze sweeps night garden

A new dance craze has hit the garden, with gardenites swinging their arms from side to side and clapping awkwardly. The Makka-Pakka-rena, as it is known, is so popular that it looks set to be even bigger than the Iggle Piggle Shuffle craze of the early 1990's. The dance, which is often performed to the beat of a nonsense word chant, has become so pervasive that the teeny tiny Pontipines have 'updated' their traditional circle dance to include some of the Makka-Pakka-rena moves.

Um-dum-agga-pang! The Tombliboos do the Makka-Pakka-rena.

Many health officials have welcomed the craze, suggesting that anything that helps residents get more exercise is 'a good thing'. However, several doctors have warned that the Makka-Pakka-rena may have dangerous health outcomes if used carelessly. 'The dance involves lots of twisting from side to side,' said one concerned doctor, highlighting the possibility that gardenites may injure their backs if not properly warmed up before they attempt the 'rena'.

Speaking from inside his cave, Makka Pakka confirmed rumours that he is behind the popular new dance. 'Yes, I started the Makka-Pakka-rena', stated Pakka. He explained that he was not sure where the idea for the dance came from: 'I was just inspired, I heard a voice in my head chanting some words and suddenly I was swinging from side to side, clapping and jumping'. While acknowledging the risks to residents, an unrepentant Pakka said that he feels 'extremely proud' that his creation has become so popular.  'I'm just glad to be able to give something back to the community here in the garden', he stated.

Read more...

Ninky-Nonk announces safety upgrades

Ninky-Nonk Inc have announced sweeping improvements to the safety of the Ninky-Nonk, with the implementation of several new safety measures. The measures will address the Night Garden Safety Authority (NGSA) Standard 0572 ('Injury Avoidance Measures for Night Garden Public Transportation Systems') which was developed, says an NGSA representative, in response to last month's Ponking injury (for our exclusive coverage of that story, please click here). The Ninky-Nonk changes will include the introduction of five-point safety harnesses in all carriages, hand-holds for passengers who are unable to bend in the middle to sit properly, vehicle and luggage racks, and door closing override switches.

'Look, no hands!': Tombliboo Ee demonstrates safer seatbelts in the Tombliboo carriage

Many residents have expressed relief  at the news of the proposed safety improvements. One gardenite, who wished to remain anonymous stated that he had often 'feared for his life' when aboard the Ninky-Nonk because of its speed and propensity to run up trees, even at times turning upside down. 'Sometimes riding on the Ninky-Nonk scares the pants off of me, literally,' said our source.

Implementation of the new measures will begin immediately and representatives of Ninky-Nonk Inc state that all carriages will be out of action for a 'short but indefinite period' while the upgrades are installed. As the Pinky-Ponk remains grounded while dangerous plaything the Ball is at large, this means that some residents will not have access to any public transport during the upgrade period. Resident diva and strident community spokesperson Upsy Daisy stated that this will be a difficult time for residents. 'The Ninky-Nonk and Pinky-Ponk are an integral part of our social fabric here in the night garden. They are not just our transportation but our most important form of entertainment and the very hub of our socialising as a community' she explained. 'There's pretty much nothing else to do around here'. Upsy has started a petition for temporary  transportation for residents during the upgrade period, suggesting 'some kind of bus' be provided. In the meantime, Upsy has generously offered gardenites rides on her bed, and Makka Pakka has offered the use of his Ogg-Pogg.

Read more...

Stone stocks plummet

The night garden has experienced the worst day of trading in living memory as stone stocks took a large hit today on the exchange. The Gazebo bought news of the crash to gardenites who could only watch in horror as the story unfolded. 'My hair stood on end,' said one witness, 'I just couldn't believe it'.

Not enough spending: experts
Experts believe sub-prime lending on houses, bushes and caves, has largely precipitated the crisis, but admitted that low consumer confidence and reduced spending has also contributed. Said one stock market insider, 'we just aren't seeing gardenites part with their cash for a new wardrobe for summer, or even a change of clothes. Some have dispensed with clothes altogether, perhaps for fiscal reasons'.


Superannuation at risk
The stone plummet comes as a blow to residents who invested in these stocks as part of their superannuation,  notably Makka Pakka, who reported that his retirement plans are now on hold. 'Unless there is a big recovery, I won't have enough,' he said regretfully. 'Stones have always seemed the safe bet, this has been a big shock'.

Makka Pakka with his now largely worthless stock portfolio

Read more...

Say Haallow to the HaaHoos

In the second of our in-depth profiles of night gardenites we meet the always enigmatic and often surprising HaaHoos.

A walk among HaaHoos is a walk among gentle giants. They bounce, sway, and smile at our crew as we make our way toward their leader, HaaHoo X, who has agreed to give The Daily readers an inside look at HaaHoo life. The first thing people should know about the HaaHoos, says X, is that their well known cry of 'HaaHoo' does not mean 'hello' as many have supposed. 'No, it's part of a complex mating ritual,' he states, but he refuses to be drawn into specifics.'You really don't want to know,' he says, leading us toward the rest of the group.

The HaaHoos. Clockwise from rear left: Oval, Flower, Figure Eight (known affectionately as 'Beany'), X and Star.

The HaaHoos have no specific home in the garden, although they tend to spend most of their time near the Gazebo. 'We feel most comfortable here,' says X, 'The Gazebo has taken an interest in our culture and has even developed a series of lectures for interested residents' (see our Community Notices page for more information). While introducing us to the other HaaHoos, X enumerates some of their many accomplishments and talents. HaaHoo Flower apparently runs a very profitable internet dating website, HaaHoo Star is one of the world's leading experts on the bottle-nosed dolphin, and HaaHoo Figure Eight once bounced for the Queen. These surprising achievements belie the seemingly quiet life that the  HaaHoos have in the night garden, with the majority of excitement coming when residents wave to them from the Pinky-Ponk or the Ninky-Nonk decides to play a game of 'chicken'.

It is just this 'fairly boring' image that the HaaHoos want to change, says X. 'We've lived here for many years, and have yet to really feel accepted as fellow residents. We feel like we are seen as large pillows, or plump garden statues- nice to have around but hardly likely to be included in any meaningful way in adventures and so forth,' he rants. The other HaaHoos agree that they feel 'under-utilised and under-appreciated' in the garden.

A key problem, the HaaHoos feel, is that there is no place for them on the garden transport systems. Thus, they can't go for hair-raising rides on the Ninky-Nonk or share the joys of hitting a tree or bush in the Pinky-Ponk. They plan to lobby the transport minister to change this. We ask how the HaaHoos, large as they are, would fit inside either transport. But, 'how does anyone fit?' questions HaaHoo X. 'If you look closely at the Pinky-Ponk and Ninky-Nonk, the only ones who should be able to get aboard are the Pontipines. I'm sure with some clever use of perspective, they can make room for us as well'.

Read more...

Ball classed as flight risk to Pinky-Ponk

The Pinky-Ponk has been grounded indefinitely after several serious mid-air collisions with notorious night garden menace the Ball. Observers say that the Ball deliberately targetted the Pinky-Ponk, which at one point was knocked into a tailspin. The Pinky-Ponk sent out two mayday hails over the trubliphone network but managed to recover just seconds from what would have been a crash landing on the Pontipine house.

An eye-witness photo of an upside-down Pinky-Ponk just moments after being hit by wanted criminal, the Ball

Frustrated: Authorities
Pinky-Ponk-Inc have stated that their air transport ship will remain grounded for as long as the Ball is at large. 'It's just too great a risk to passenger safety', stated a representative, 'we've had enough trouble over the Ponking'. When questioned, night garden authorities stated that they were frustrated by a lack of leads to help them locate the Ball. 'We get calls all the time,' said a spokesperson, 'but when we follow them up, it ends up being one of those spherical bushes'.

Authorities are also concerned that some gardenites might be deliberately harbouring the Ball and providing it with shelter, food or other support 'because it is fun to play with'. Their spokesperson reiterated the message posted in The Daily last week that the Ball is a highly dangerous con artist which should be approached with caution, if at all. 'Get straight on the trubliphone if you see it,' he stated, but, 'wait until you are sure it is the Ball before you call'. See pictures below for a helpful guide to identifying the Ball.

Two round bushes (foreground), pictured here with HaaHoo X. These bushes pose no threat to gardenites, say authorities. Experts suggest that they can be readily distinguished from the Ball by the fact that the bushes rarely move and they are often found in groups of two, either side-by-side or stacked on top of eachother.

Wanted criminal, the Ball, shown here with Upsy Daisy before it's flight from justice. Authorities warn gardenites that 'playing' with the Ball is very risky.

Read more...

Album Reviews

Daisy Do! 
Upsy Daisy NGMI


The title says it all on Daisy's fifth studio album. Daisy Do! is an intimate album, inspired, says Daisy by her deeply rooted love of music and singing. More experimental than previous albums, Daisy Do! is a mesh of styles from the operatic "Ah-ah-ah-ah Daisy" to the reggae inspired "Do-Daisy-Do". "Pip-pip Onk-onk" combines racing melodies, soaring harmonies with poetic storytelling: 'Riding on the Ninky-Nonk/My stop comes up/Pip-pip onk-onk!'. Previous albums have proved that Daisy is a talented songwriter and producer, and this album is no departure. It's hard to believe that Upsy could produce an album to top previous successes like Megaphone Musings or the rap/hip hop album What's My Name?, both of which went double platinum, but Daisy Do! looks set to do just that.*****

Ombli Bombli (Instrumental)
The Tombliboos Gardenite Records

The long-awaited debut album from The Tombliboos is just what fans were hoping for. This group already have a large following from their spontaneous and perky live shows, but the album has been a no-show for several years. 'We just kept putting it off', said Un, the ostensible leader of the group. 'We've had, like, so much on these past couple of years, sitting in a studio wasn't a high priority'. The tracks move from lively and loud ("Trousers", "Blocks"), to soft and thoughtful ("Teeth", "Bedtime"). A whole album of instrumental music may not be everyone's cup of pinky-ponk juice, but trust us, this is the perfect sound track to your next dinner party. There are no jarring notes to this wonderful debut. ****

Read more...