Mixed reactions to Gardenite reality tv series

Gardenites today got a glimpse at their lives through the lens of 'Reality TV' as they previewed several episodes of 'In the Night Garden', a television production which has recently completed filming in the garden. 'In the Night Garden' has followed the daily lives of several Gardenites, showcasing their 'upsys and downsies' in the words of the media release for the show.

However, following the Gazebo-hosted viewing, many gardenites expressed disappointment and anger at what they described as 'exaggerations, misrepresentations and selective editing' on the part of producers of the show. Upsy Daisy explained that she felt her love of flowers had been 'overplayed' and stated that she rarely chased her bed. 'It's not really me', she stated, 'I mean, I love my bed, but the show makes it look like I luuurve my bed, if you know what I mean'. Other residents disappointed by their on screen portrayal included Makka Pakka who argued that careful editing and 'faked situations' had made him look like 'a total nut job'. 'I wondered why producers insisted that I wash everyone's faces almost every time the camera was on me. Now I know. They needed an 'OCD' character for this so-called 'reality' show' he fumed, adding that he planned to seek legal advice, 'right after I go and wash my hands'. Tombliboo Oo confirmed the 'un-reality' of the filming process: 'let's just say the waist bands of our pants were somewhat loosened, for comedy effect'.

Other residents were more positive about the show and their portrayal. Mrs Pontipine expressed delight at seeing her family on television  'I never dreamed that I would be a tv star when I was fleeing Soviet Russia with only my hat, coat and binoculars', she stated. Haa Hoo X stated that, contrary to expectations, the camera had 'removed five pounds' with respect to the Haa Hoos.

 Media reviews of the show have also been largely enthusiastic. While some reviewers have expressed confusion about the premise, most agree that the characters are interesting enough to keep the show going. Upsy Daisy comes in for praise as a 'strong female lead' and has been compared favourably to Reality TV megastars such as Kim Kardashian and Snooky.

In the Night Garden will screen nightly on local television.

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Makka-Pakka-rena dance craze sweeps night garden

A new dance craze has hit the garden, with gardenites swinging their arms from side to side and clapping awkwardly. The Makka-Pakka-rena, as it is known, is so popular that it looks set to be even bigger than the Iggle Piggle Shuffle craze of the early 1990's. The dance, which is often performed to the beat of a nonsense word chant, has become so pervasive that the teeny tiny Pontipines have 'updated' their traditional circle dance to include some of the Makka-Pakka-rena moves.

Um-dum-agga-pang! The Tombliboos do the Makka-Pakka-rena.

Many health officials have welcomed the craze, suggesting that anything that helps residents get more exercise is 'a good thing'. However, several doctors have warned that the Makka-Pakka-rena may have dangerous health outcomes if used carelessly. 'The dance involves lots of twisting from side to side,' said one concerned doctor, highlighting the possibility that gardenites may injure their backs if not properly warmed up before they attempt the 'rena'.

Speaking from inside his cave, Makka Pakka confirmed rumours that he is behind the popular new dance. 'Yes, I started the Makka-Pakka-rena', stated Pakka. He explained that he was not sure where the idea for the dance came from: 'I was just inspired, I heard a voice in my head chanting some words and suddenly I was swinging from side to side, clapping and jumping'. While acknowledging the risks to residents, an unrepentant Pakka said that he feels 'extremely proud' that his creation has become so popular.  'I'm just glad to be able to give something back to the community here in the garden', he stated.

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Stone stocks plummet

The night garden has experienced the worst day of trading in living memory as stone stocks took a large hit today on the exchange. The Gazebo bought news of the crash to gardenites who could only watch in horror as the story unfolded. 'My hair stood on end,' said one witness, 'I just couldn't believe it'.

Not enough spending: experts
Experts believe sub-prime lending on houses, bushes and caves, has largely precipitated the crisis, but admitted that low consumer confidence and reduced spending has also contributed. Said one stock market insider, 'we just aren't seeing gardenites part with their cash for a new wardrobe for summer, or even a change of clothes. Some have dispensed with clothes altogether, perhaps for fiscal reasons'.


Superannuation at risk
The stone plummet comes as a blow to residents who invested in these stocks as part of their superannuation,  notably Makka Pakka, who reported that his retirement plans are now on hold. 'Unless there is a big recovery, I won't have enough,' he said regretfully. 'Stones have always seemed the safe bet, this has been a big shock'.

Makka Pakka with his now largely worthless stock portfolio

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Porker Pakka sheds pounds

Portly gardenite Makka Pakka has recently been seen sporting a more svelt figure. Speaking exclusively to The Daily, Pakka reveals that his fat-busting fitness secret is simple: stone lifting. 'Actually the weight's been coming off gradually ever since I became interested in stones. I feel lighter every day', he stated.

Makka Pakka: Before his transformation (left) waving to the Ninky-Nonk as it passes him by and after (right) with his trim new figure, striding easily through the garden without the help of his Ogg-Pogg.

With a new spring in his step, Pakka, 45, has been seen washing faces with more than his usual vigor, and reports that he even managed to catch the Ninky-Nonk without resorting to the use of his trumpet. Stone lifting is not Pakka's only secret, he reveals. 'I've also cut down on Pinky-Ponk juice and have started to use my exercise Ogg-Pogg at home when watching telly. I even sleep with a stone to keep myself motivated'. 

Pakka 'a good example'
Night garden health authorities have expressed relief that at least one plus-sized resident has taken a 'stepping stone' towards good health. 'We are concerned about the growing girth of some of the night garden residents. Even the so-called 'teeny tiny' Pontipine parents are carrying considerable excess weight around their middles, and this a well-known indicator of risk for heart disease and other health problems. Makka Pakka is setting a good example and we hope other residents will follow his lead'.

Makka Pakka has offered his advice and support to other gardenites seeking sleeker figures. 'I feel my journey could inspire others, and I've got some practical tips to offer as well. Naming no names, but you don't slim down by lying around in bed all day, and carrying a blanket around is hardly weight-bearing exercise,' he says. Pakka has even developed his own range of fitness equipment, including the Makksimiser(TM), which Pakka describes as a cross between the Cardio Twister and the Denise Austin Power Belt, 'but with more stones'.

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Excitement builds over 'Night Garden's Got Talent'

News that auditions will begin soon for The Night Garden's Got Talent has gardenites in a frenzy of excitement. The Gazebo has been confirmed as the judge, and the Disembodied Voice, known to residents as 'Barry', will be the host.

'It's the perfect role for me', said Barry, 'I'm totally comfortable saying things like 'what will you be doing today, Makka Pakka?' or 'The Tombliboos are playing Tombliboo music!'' I think my ability to explain what is going on to an audience will be invaluable to viewers of Got Talent'.

The audition process will kick off on Wednesday, and The Daily is able to bring readers this list of confirmed auditionees:
* Upsy Daisy (song and dance routine)
* Makka Pakka (stone stacking)
* Tombliboo Oo and Ee (piano and drum musical duet)
* Tombliboo Un (trouser twirling)
* The HaaHoos (synchronised swaying)

A garden insider reports that Iggle Piggle is also considering auditioning and has been seen practicing a daring bull fighting number using his red blanket. The Pontipine family have expressed disappointment that their proposed chimney jumping act was turned down by producers as 'too dangerous'. 'My children do it all the time, it's traditional in our culture', explained Mr Pontipine. The family are considering auditioning for Got Talent with a folk dancing act instead.

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Makka Pakka: 'Give me my own carriage'

Well-known stone artist and face-washer, Makka Pakka, staged a peaceful protest in the night garden this evening.  The protest was to draw attention to 'the need for more Ninky-Nonk carriages to be made available to residents'. During the protest, Pakka parked his Og-Pog in the path of the Ninky-Nonk as it took its journey around the night garden. The protest was largely unsuccessful as the Ninky-Nonk avoided Pakka and the Og-Pog by running up a tree.

Tombliboo carriage 'uncomfortable'
When interviewed by The Daily, Pakka explained that he felt it unfair that he was forced to share a carriage with three other passengers, Tombliboo Un, Oo and Ee. 'It's uncomfortable,' he told our reporter. 'The seats are not designed to fit my form and the seatbelts barely go around my middle. I'm also sick of seeing the Tombliboo pants fly off whenever the road gets a little rough'. While declining to place blame on other gardenites, Pakka pointed out that Iggle Piggle, a garden visitor, had his own carriage, which he frequently didn't use because he prefered to travel with Upsy Daisy. 'It's practically a spare carriage, that's all I'm saying,' he stated.

Other gardenites expressed sympathy for Makka Pakka's protest. 'We have to share our carriage with the Wottingers, so we know what it's like,' said Mr Pontipine, 'Can you imagine sixteen squealing children in that small space? Luckily the Wottingers don't seem to leave the house very often, and our children quite like to travel on the roof'.

Ninky-Nonk honchos: 'No new carriages'
When asked for their response, a representative of Ninky-Nonk-Inc stated that the Ninky-Nonk was currently carrying a full complement of carriages and there were no plans for new carriages in the near future. Pakka expressed fury at this response which he said was 'typical of the cold hearted corporation which runs the public transport system in the night garden'. He added that he would not be providing washing services for the Ninky-Nonk until his demands were met.

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COMMUNITY NOTICES

Night garden dance-a-thon
A community dance-a-thon will be held at the Gazebo this evening. Registration not required. Bring your dancing shoes for a fun community evening. Residents and guests welcome. All enquiries to Upsy Daisy.

Tooth brushing course
Registrations are now open for a three day intensive course on oral hygiene. The course will cover correct tools, frequency and Tombliboo technique. The cost of the course includes a comprehensive toothbrushing handbook and a giant toothbrush. Please see Tombliboo Un, Oo or Ee to register.

Those Mysterious HaaHoos
The Gazebo will host an information session for interested residents on the origin, history and modern cultural significance of the HaaHoos on Monday evening at 5pm. The session will include detailed pictures and stories about the HaaHoos. HaaHoo X will attend to conduct a demonstration of a traditional HaaHoo welcoming ceremony. Registration is required for catering purposes.

Cleaning Service Price Increase
In Your Face Cleaning Services regretfully announce a 10% price increase for all residential and commercial cleaning services effective October, 2011. The price rise is to cover the increased cost of soap as a result of the Carbon Tax. A copy of the new price schedule is available from Makka Pakka.

Notice of Planning Application
Notice is hereby given that an application has been made for planning approval for the following development:
Site: 1 Large Bush Way, Night Garden
Proposal: Extension to existing bush; expansion of entrance way
Applicants: Un Tombliboo, Oo Tombliboo, Ee Tombliboo
The application and associated plans and documents will be available for inspection at the Council Offices during normal office hours for a period of fourteen (14) days from the date of publication of this notice, during which time any resident may make representations in relation to the proposal by letter addressed to the General Manager, Night Garden Council.

Lost and Found
Mr Pontipine would like to speak to anyone who has information as to the whereabouts of his mustache. The mustache was last seen flying through the air last Thursday. There is a reward for information leading to the mustache's return.

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Tombliboos hold music appreciation evening

Gardenites were tonight treated to a musical feast when Un, Oo and Ee Tombliboo of 1 Large Bush Way, Night Garden, held an open music appreciation evening. 'We thought it was time to share our music with others', said Un, 'Our art deserves to be heard'.

Pontipines, Makka Pakka 'not fans'

Notorious night garden resident Makka Pakka, 35, attended the Tombliboo's musical evening, but explained to The Daily that he was no music lover. 'I was merely hanging around waiting to wash the Tombliboo faces', he said. Nearby residents Mr and Mrs Pontipine and family declined to attend, but reported that the Tombliboo music was audible from their home. 'Those three are louder than Upsy Daisy, and she has a megaphone', said Mrs Pontipine. 

No pants necessary
When asked by The Daily if they wore Tombliboo trousers during the meeting, the Tombliboos shook their heads in unison. 'They just fall down', explained Oo. Other pant-less gardenites, including Iggle Piggle welcomed this 'no shirt, no shoes, no pants, no problem' policy in the midst of an evening of high culture. 'It's about time the garden loosened up', he said, 'I never wear pants, and I'm glad to see the Tombliboos doing the same'.

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